10 Ways to Respond When Loving Someone at Church Feels Hard

Loving God and being fully invested in our worship and service at church doesn’t prevent flawed interactions between imperfect people. Sometimes, resolving conflict is easy. Other times, it’s not—and it may even require a radical change of heart or perspective.

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10 Ways to Respond When Loving Someone at Church Feels Hard

1. 

God knows all the details of hurtful situations—friends don’t. He can help us know when to ask for forgiveness, set boundaries, peacefully stand up for ourselves, or simply let it go and love someone where they are.

2. 

“All-or-nothing” thinking—seeing people or situations as entirely good or entirely bad—is an easy trap. In reality, few things in life are that black and white. Conflict usually involves many factors.

3. 

Oneness may require the sacrifice of pride. If imperfection (not abuse) is at the core of conflict, the Savior may lovingly teach us, “You can be right—or you can be mine.”

4. 

True peacemaking means looking for common ground instead of focusing on differences.

5. 

Judging someone—or a situation—based solely on how we feel ignores that most of us bring old hurts to new experiences. It’s easy to read more into a moment than is actually there.

6. 

Jesus taught us to love our neighbor, which makes hurt or angry feelings a temptation—not an entitlement. Yet He also ministered to those who were mistreated and stood up to behavior that wasn’t Christlike.

Ask yourself: How might resisting the temptation to be angry bring peace?How might resisting the temptation to do nothing in the face of harmful behavior prevent spiritual wounds?

7. 

“There isn’t anyone you couldn’t love once you’ve heard their story.” —Mary Lou Kownacki

8. 

Ask yourself: Why is this situation especially hard for me?

Is there something God wants me to learn—about the past, my Savior, or myself?

9. 

An offensive remark can become either a window or a door. Like a window, it can let in light and new understanding. Like a door, it can become a barrier to hide behind in darkness and fear.

10. 

In the Garden of Gethsemane, the Savior stood by each of us as He took upon Himself our sin, weakness, and pain. Now, we have the chance to stand by Him—by choosing how we respond to imperfect behavior. ❤️

Note: Hurt at church can often be resolved by giving grace. Abuse (in all its forms) is different. Repeated patterns of mistreatment, coercion, or controlling behavior should never be tolerated.