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Despite difficulties in religious settings and relationships, religious liberty is deeply meaningful to me. This July 4th marks 250 years since the signing of the Declaration of Independence. In connection with that anniversary, some are participating in a worldwide fast to express gratitude for religious liberty. One invitation put it this way: “All are invited to participate in a unified fast to express gratitude for religious liberty and to pray that it be strengthened thr

As a teen, my decision to explore a different Christian denomination was met with unexpected opposition. This is my story of church hurt and spiritual abuse, and my Savior's ability to heal. I write from lived experience, more than twenty years of serving as a church youth leader, and ongoing learning about evidence-based safeguarding that names harm without undermining faith. A Positive Foundation Growing up, church was a positive and important part of my life. Faith was wov

After years of wrestling with the term spiritual abuse, I found a faith-affirming path to clarity and healing. Art by Sabrina Paredes I write from lived experience, more than twenty years of serving as a church youth leader, and ongoing learning about evidence-based safeguarding that names harm without undermining faith. I know I'm not the only one who has wrestled with this question: If church hurt and spiritual abuse are real, is there room for me to hold onto my faith? I b

A practical framework for discerning healthy, unhelpful, unhealthy, and abusive behavior in faith-based relationships. I write from lived experience, more than twenty years of serving as a church youth leader, and ongoing learning about evidence-based safeguarding that names harm without undermining faith. Why Negative Behavior in Faith-Based Relationships Feels So Polarizing Whenever negative behavior in faith-based relationships comes up, responses often fall into two extre

No matter how an event resurfaces, our Savior understands. He was there before. He is with us now. He overcame all things. "Hide" by Elisabeth Handelsby I write from lived experience, more than twenty years of serving as a church youth leader, and ongoing learning about evidence-based safeguarding that names harm without undermining faith. Uncomfortable at Church Camp It’s late on the last night of church camp, and I’ve forgotten where I’ve parked my car (which means I can’t

It's normal to not know how to respond to a loved one's church hurt, or imperfect experiences in faith-based relationships. As one who has both tried to minister to others and who has been ministered to, this is my advice.

Jesus said that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. So why can church sometimes feel high demand? Often, what feels overwhelming is human pressure, rigidity, or added expectations. Photography by Wesley Tingey Is My Church High Demand—or Is Something Else Going On? When the phrase “high demand church” comes up, I feel torn. Part of me thinks of the time, energy, and years I’ve spent serving in my faith community. I think of the growth that came through that service, the

We may think we see a painful situation clearly. Then God gives more light. Are there things you look back on, certain you know exactly what happened? For a long time, that's how I saw something that happened in second grade, but now I see it differently. My Father in Heaven has made beauty from ashes and strength from weakness. He is my God of miracles. Before I go further, let me explain what I mean by “dropping” Jesus. In my childhood faith, we were taught that during com

I thought I was taking my fears to God, but something was missing because I often felt more anxious after praying. If you’ve ever felt worse after praying, it doesn’t mean you lack faith. Many people quietly wrestle with that same question — especially when prayer is supposed to bring peace. Still, it can feel terrible to admit. Especially considering this verse: God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).   If that

Jesus saw beyond behavior and ministered with patience to the one. "Does anyone know anything about 'Good Shepherds?'" That was my segue into John 10:1-18 in a morning scripture study class with teens. A student raised his hand. “Good Shepherds gather their sheep at the gate of their enclosure every night and check for the day's wounds. Then, they minister to each one.” That was many years ago, but I still feel the power of that statement when I think of it. As my student sha

Written by someone whose faith was pressured as a teen—and who later learned how easy it is to repeat that pressure as a parent. Midway through my sophomore year of high school, I found another faith community that felt like home. But it broke my parents’ hearts. The years that followed were strained. During a waiting period after which I would be allowed to make a final decision, conversations were heavy and emotional. As other adults at school and church tried to influence

Simple planning, shared leadership, and a Christ-centered focus make church camps meaningful and memorable without burnout or cringe. Artwork by Emily Harper Mention “church camp,” and adults often react in extremes. Some light up enthusiastically, recalling joyful memories from their youth. Others groan. “I LOVE camp.” “I HATE camp.” I’ve heard both almost equally. Those reactions, and my own experiences, have led me to this question: How can we make church camps spiritually

It can be easy to see an unhappy camper as a problem to fix rather than a person to love. But what would Jesus do? Church-camp goers come in all forms—some youth count down the days to go, while others count down the hours until they can go home. Emotional stress at camp can come from changing friendships, shifting hormones, a faith crisis, or simply physical and social exhaustion (especially for introverts!). Whatever the reason, here are a few practical ways to anticipate a

Sometimes, unwanted feelings are pointing toward needed change. Art by Sabrina Peterson Have you ever had an intense reaction that seemed to come from nowhere? Logically, you know your response is out of proportion for the situation—and it's pretty apparent to everyone else too. If you’ve ever experienced anxiety at church and couldn’t explain why, you’re not alone. It 's embarrassing to admit, but I used to experience this. At times, I felt like a child unable to control h

Conflict in faith-based relationships can feel especially awkward (or even painful). Reaching out to resolve a misunderstanding can bring healing, but without care, it can make things worse. Ideas for Resolution When a Faith-Centered Relationship Feels Strained Helpful: Ask ahead of time: “Can we talk? I have a concern.” Choose a calm time and place, and approach the conversation with steady words and open body language. Not helpful ↓ Springing an emotionally charged conversa

Loving God and being fully invested at church doesn’t prevent flawed interactions between imperfect people. Sometimes, resolving conflict is easy. Other times, it’s not. It may even require a radical change of heart or perspective. Beautiful artwork @kaylouisedoodles 10 Thoughts on When Loving Someone at Church Feels Hard 1.   God knows all the details of hurtful situations, friends don’t. He can help us know when to ask for forgiveness, set boundaries, peacefully stand up fo