What Is My Anxiety at Church Trying to Tell Me?

Sometimes, unwanted feelings are pointing toward needed healing and change.

Art by Sabrina Peterson

Have you ever had an intense reaction that seemed to come from nowhere?

Logically, you know your response is out of proportion to the moment—and it's apparent to everyone else too.

If you’ve ever experienced anxiety at church and couldn’t explain why, you’re not alone. It's embarrassing to admit, but I used to experience this. At times, I felt like a child unable to control her reactions.

What I didn’t know then was that what I was experiencing was completely normal.

And more than that, it was a sign of coming change. Something was pointing me toward healing.

If I could be a friend to my younger self, I would tell her not to feel shame for her reactions. Then I would remind her of something her teens constantly joked about: “Triggered! Oh, he’s triggered!”

They used that phrase lightly (as a punchline for overreactions they found funny). I heard it for years without thinking about what it really meant.

So what is a trigger?

A trigger is something that causes an automatic response in our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

— Emotional Resilience for Self-Reliance Workbook for Facilitators, "Responding to Triggers," pages 36–37.

That workbook suggests questions that can help identify where and when triggers show up:

• What moods do I struggle with the most?

• What days of the week or times of day are hardest for me?

• What types of people are difficult for me to be around?

• What situations or events are most difficult for me?

• What are a few triggers that occur repeatedly in my life?

Once you identify patterns, ask:

• How do I feel because of that?

• How do I usually react?

• What's another way I can respond?

For some, awareness is enough. For others (like me), that's just the beginning.

For years, I tried to logically reason my way through my reactions. I prayed, journaled, sought out sacred spaces and priesthood blessings. Small shifts would happen. But eventually, something new would trigger an old reaction again.

It was frustrating and confusing. I felt trapped.

When Anxiety at Church Keeps Repeating

After decades of that intermittent pattern, I finally sought out professional counseling. For me, EMDR therapy broke down walls I couldn't dismantle on my own. For the first time, fear and anxiety were no longer in the driver’s seat.

Healing was.

I share more about how past experiences shaped those reactions in my story of staying faithful and reclaiming my agency.

It was during EMDR therapy that I felt able to access my Savior’s Atonement in new ways—not just for comfort, but for repair.

This brings me to an idea from Brianna Wiest’s essay, “What the Feelings You Most Suppress Are Trying to Tell You”:

People don't have breakdowns unless they are on the precipices of "breakthroughs." Breakdowns—or any kind of intense mental-emotional turmoil—are always a sign that things are in the process of changing. Otherwise, they'd just be "normal." You're done accepting your old "normal"... you're onto bigger, better, brighter things. You've decided you're not going to be the victim of your own mind anymore.

That sums up my journey with emotional triggers at church.

In my experience, these appearing “out of nowhere” were signs that my mind and spirit were finally ready to address things I tried not to think about for a long time. Something inside me was ready to release beliefs and patterns that had formed in the aftermath of earlier experiences.

Sometimes anxiety isn’t regression. It’s revelation.

If understanding your triggers disarms them, that’s wonderful. If it’s more complex than that, that’s okay too.

Feelings aren’t “bad.” They repeat themselves until listened to.

Getting to the root can require courage, support, or help you may have felt previously closed off to.

But healing is God’s work too.

And it's not impossible.

Our Savior's hand is not shortened to redeem.

You are not alone.

He is walking with you.

If anxiety at church connects to deeper spiritual wounds, you may also find these helpful: What a Trigger at Church Looks Like and A Faith-Affirming Response to Church Hurt and Spiritual Abuse.