Ideas for Resolving Conflict at Church When Things Get Sticky
- Jen Weaver
- May 2
- 2 min read
Updated: 7 hours ago
Conflict in faith settings can feel especially awkward (or even painful).
Reaching out to resolve a misunderstanding can bring healing, but without humility and care, it can make things worse.
Here are a few ideas for finding peace when things get sticky:
Helpful:
Ask ahead of time: “Can we talk? I have a concern.”
Choose a calm time and place, and approach the conversation with steady words and open body language.
Not helpful ↓
Springing an emotionally charged conversation on someone without their consent, when they are unprepared, or at an inappropriate time or place.
Helpful:
Use statements that start with “I feel” or “I’m concerned about…”
Give the other person space to share their perspective too.
Not helpful ↓
Starting sentences with “You…” or using accusatory, blaming language.
One-sided conversations (with little listening) rarely invite peace.
Helpful:
Give others room to “save face.” Admitting fault is hard, and humility takes time.
Not helpful ↓
Clinging to “I’m right, you’re wrong.”
Expecting the other person to take 100% of the blame usually blocks progress.
Helpful:
Recognize that not everyone handles conflict the same way.
Some topics may touch old wounds. Respecting boundaries when someone can’t engage is a sign of compassion and emotional maturity.
Not helpful ↓
Pushing for a conversation when the other person clearly isn’t ready—or ignoring cues that they’re uncomfortable, even if your intentions are good.
Helpful:
Love people where they are.
Think of a time someone did that for you—how did it change you?
Not helpful ↓
Expecting others to be where you think they “should be.”
Spiritual growth is personal. God works with each of us in His own timing.
❤️ If Your Best Efforts Fail
It’s okay. Relationships are sometimes imperfect—even at church.
Do your best to be kind, forgiving, and honest, then place the rest in God’s hands.
Maybe this isn’t the right time for resolution, for reasons you can’t yet see.
If interactions ever escalate to bullying, harassment, or abuse, set clear boundaries and seek help.
Christlike forgiveness never means allowing mistreatment.
All forms of abusive behavior are un-Christlike and must not be tolerated.
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