I Used to Feel Worse After Praying—Until I Learned This
- Jen Weaver
- May 2
- 2 min read
Updated: 4 hours ago
I thought I was taking my fears to God, but something was missing—because I often felt more anxious after praying.
It sounds terrible to say, "I feel worse after praying."
Especially considering this verse:
God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
—2 Timothy 1:7
If that’s true, then how could prayer bring anxiety instead of peace?
For a long time, I didn’t know.
Sometimes, I stopped praying altogether—which brought more shame.
How could God answer a child who wasn’t speaking to Him?
The short answer is this:
He understands us perfectly.
He is merciful and patient.
The Moment Things Made Sense
A few months into EMDR therapy, I had a realization:
It’s okay to acknowledge our pain. But if we don’t, at the same time, acknowledge something greater, the weight of that can swallow us up.
That insight completely changed how I prayed.
In therapy, I was asked to “go back” to difficult experiences. Each time, I imagined bringing someone with me—a protector, a nurturer, someone I associated with unconditional love.
It may sound strange, but it worked.
Facing old pain with a companion—someone with greater capacity—taught me a profound spiritual truth: some things shouldn't be faced alone.
Healing and Understanding
As I continued therapy, healing came in waves. I felt forgiveness for those who had hurt me, those who hadn’t protected me, and even for myself.
(It’s normal for survivors of abuse to second-guess why they couldn’t prevent what happened.)
The miracle was that the unwanted emotions that kept popping up like whack-a-mole began to fade. Everyday situations that once triggered shame and fear no longer carried the same weight.
That’s when I understood what had been happening during prayer.
How I Used to Pray
I’d rattle off a list of fears.
Plead with God to keep them from happening.
If they did, I’d beg Him to fix them.
Those weren’t really prayers.
They were fear mantras.
I thought I was taking my fears to God.
In reality, I was rehearsing them—cementing them more deeply.
How I Pray Now
I picture Someone with greater capacity beside me—Jesus Christ.
I pour out my heart to God, then turn my focus to His Son.
I think of the Savior’s attributes—His compassion, His calm, His power—and imagine Him extending those same gifts to me.
When I do this, my thoughts naturally shift.
Instead of pleading to be rescued from uncomfortable situations, I find myself bearing testimony to God of what I know about Jesus Christ.
And that’s when peace replaces fear.
What I've Come to Understand
Anxiety loses power when I give Jesus’ capacity more weight than my fears.
Secure in the knowledge that He has overcome all things, I fear fewer things.
Can you imagine being with Him one day—and fearing nothing?
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