A personal story about navigating difficult experiences in faith settings with my Savior—while reclaiming agency and experiencing greater faith, belonging, and understanding.

Lisa Oakley’s Spectrum of Behavior gave me language for understanding difficult experiences in faith-based relationships while still honoring the goodness I had known.

Written by someone whose faith was pressured as a teen—and who later learned how easy it is to repeat the same pattern. Midway through my sophomore year of high school, I found another faith community that felt like home. But it broke my parents’ hearts. The years that followed were strained. During a waiting period after which I would be allowed to make a final decision, conversations were heavy and emotional. As other adults at school and church tried to influence me, some