What Is My Anxiety at Church Trying to Tell Me?

Sometimes, unwanted feelings are pointing toward needed change.

Art by Sabrina Peterson

Have you ever had an intense reaction that seemed to come from nowhere?

Logically, you know your response doesn’t quite match the situation—and it’s pretty apparent to others too.

If you’ve ever experienced this and couldn’t explain why, you’re not alone. It's embarrassing to admit, but I used to experience this all the time. At times, I felt like a child unable to control her reactions.

What I didn’t know then was that what I was experiencing was completely normal.

And more than that, it was a sign of coming change. Something was pointing me toward healing.

If I could be a friend to my younger self, I would tell her not to feel shame for her reactions. Then I would remind her of something her teens constantly joked about: “Triggered! Oh, he’s triggered!”

My kids used that phrase lightly (as a punchline for overreactions they found funny). I heard it for years without thinking about what it really meant.

So what is a trigger?

A trigger is something that causes an automatic response in our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. (Emotional Resilience for Self-Reliance Workbook for Facilitators, "Responding to Triggers," pages 36–37.)

For me, this showed up in ways that didn’t make sense at the time. Looking back, it reminds me of a routine I had as a kid. Every night, I’d stand by my doorway, then turn off the light, and run and jump onto my bed so that the monsters under the bed couldn't swipe at my ankles. It sounds silly now, but at the time, it made me feel safe.

Years later, I realized I had similar “run and jump” routines in other parts of my life. These small ways of coping helped me not to feel afraid, even though I didn’t understand why I sometimes felt that way.

That workbook includes questions to help identify where and when triggers show up:

• What moods do I struggle with the most?

• What days of the week or times of day are hardest for me?

• What types of people are difficult for me to be around?

• What situations or events are most difficult for me?

• What are a few triggers that occur repeatedly in my life?

Once you identify patterns, you can ask:

• How do I feel because of that?

• How do I usually react?

• What's another way I can respond?

For some, awareness is enough. For others (like me), that's just the beginning.

For years, I tried to logically reason my way through my reactions. I prayed, journaled, sought out sacred spaces and priesthood blessings. Small shifts would happen. But eventually, something new would trigger the same old reaction.

It was frustrating and confusing. I felt trapped and ashamed.

When Anxiety at Church Keeps Repeating

After decades of that intermittent pattern, I finally sought out professional counseling. For me, EMDR therapy broke down walls I couldn't dismantle on my own. For the first time, fear and anxiety were no longer in the driver’s seat.

Instead, it was my Savior—and healing.

I share more about how past experiences shaped those reactions in my story of staying faithful and reclaiming my agency.

It was during EMDR therapy that I felt able to access my Savior’s Atonement in new ways—for both comfort, and repair.

This brings me to an idea from Brianna Wiest’s essay, “What the Feelings You Most Suppress Are Trying to Tell You”:

People don't have breakdowns unless they are on the precipices of "breakthroughs." Breakdowns—or any kind of intense mental-emotional turmoil—are always a sign that things are in the process of changing. Otherwise, they'd just be "normal." You're done accepting your old "normal"... you're onto bigger, better, brighter things. You've decided you're not going to be the victim of your own mind anymore.

That sums up my journey with emotional triggers at church.

Looking back, I can now see that some of my reactions weren’t about what was happening in the moment. They were connected to earlier experiences in ways that were subtle, but powerful.

Sometimes anxiety isn’t regression. It’s revelation.

If understanding your triggers disarms them, that’s great! If it’s more complex than that, that’s okay too.

Feelings aren’t “bad.” They simply repeat themselves until listened to.

Getting to the root can require courage, support, and help you may have felt previously closed off to.

But healing is God’s work too!

And it's not impossible because our Savior's hand is not shortened to redeem.

You are never alone, no matter the cause of your wounds.

He is walking with you.

If anxiety at church connects to deeper spiritual wounds, you may also find these helpful: What a Trigger at Church Looks Like and A Faith-Affirming Framework for Understanding Difficult Experiences in Faith & Family.